April foolishness

April seems like an appropriate month for a little foolishness, so here it goes.

From the U.S. Air Force (as reported by Dick Staub), here are some maintenance work order requests from pilots and the replies from maintenance:

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.

Maintenance response: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

Maintenance response: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Number three engine missing.

Maintenance response: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.

Maintenance response: Volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Maintenance response: That’s what they’re there for.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.

Maintenance response: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: The autopilot doesn’t.

Maintenance response: It does now.

Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.

Maintenance response: Evidence removed.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.

Maintenance response: Live bugs on order.

This list got me to thinking that there must be scads of similar work orders out there in industry. So, let’s share them.

Send me your funny maintenance work orders, and I’ll compile a list for publication in a future issue and on our web site. You don’t have to identify yourself or your company. But if you want credit, let me know.

Submit your work orders by fax at 630-320-7145 or by e-mail to rdunn@cahners.com.

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